Friday, May 11, 2007

Victoria Williams has MS and I have fairies~!!

Victoria Williams has MS. It's true. It has been true for several years, and I finally remembered to look it up, 9+ years into my own R&R MS (Relapsing and Remitting Multiple Sclerosis). Wouldn't it be cool if I'd been at a B&B 9+ years instead?

Why did I finally remember to Google a bit about Ms. Williams? Well, it's the MS Faeries...that's what I've decided to call this whole memory lapse/brain thing/temporary insanity-hoo-haa. (Otherwise known as lesions/scars/demylenation-whatever journal you're reading...) Anyway...back to the faeries. Normal people (without MS), have ugly little trolls that plod about on their brains, stomping on the little creases and lumps... Every time they stomp down, you (the non-MS'er), remember stuff. Like where you put the grape Jelly....if that shirt indeed must drip-dry even though it says to dry "low"...where THE BUTTON is that you MUST HAVE to finish your latest to drive to the grocery....get the picture? The trolls stomp, you remember, disco, baby!!! You're lookin' fine in that shirt, drivin' to the grocery, eating your jelly san. (Forget the button...that happens to a lot of troll-heads).

On the other hand...

I (an MS'er), have no trolls on my MS brain...I have faieries~!!! They skip and flit and swoop about my noggin with no thought whatsoever as to what brain crease they land fact, I'm pretty sure the plaque builds up because they aren't stomping on my brain at all...they just flit down and twirl on a brain roll now and then, according to their very own fairy whim....
So here I sit in my tight shirt with my PB and nothin' san', without a clue as to how to get more jelly...but I know, that if I sit here long enough I'll remember how to get to the grocery. And when I get there, in my tight shirt (here's hopin' I remember to wear a bra!).................................... I'll probably buy mustard.
Hopefully I won't make a mustard and peanut butter sandwich...

And why was I thinking about such things with enough frequency to remember to look up Victoria Williams? (I mean, it's been years since I listened to Sweet Relief~~ a benefit CD with the likes of Michelle Shocked & Michael Penn...years since the college boy who played Victoria's benefit for me stated "it's always something with you" when I told him I have MS...years since...)

Why was I thinking about MS, Victoria, fairies, MRI's ?

Discrimination, I guess... No, I'm sure. This silly little situation that spiralled out of control and resulted in a hateful, yucky, drama. My friend that has MS was discriminated against. There. Said it.

I worked in theatre, tech. and acting, for several years...on-stage and back-stage, I never felt "less than" for the obvious reason of being a girl. No discrimination. I worked as a grave yard waitress A LOT to put myself through school (with varying degrees of success), and definitely got used to sloppy, drunken, comments etc. etc. But you know what? I expected it. Didn't ask for it, didn't enjoy it, but for Pete's sake it didn't surprise me!! But this whole thing that happened a few weeks back blew me away...
A troll brain didn't "believe" my friend about her memory problems, cognitive issues, etc. And what was more, she had a lot of very hurtful, insulting, even cruel things to say...a stranger made me feel things I haven't felt, ever. My, my...what power. It hurt me, hurt my fairy-headed friend terribly (she still thinks most folks are nice). I have been sulking and questioning, conscious or no, for several weeks now.

An eBay artist I don't know "ask seller-ed" me about how to make my dolls' eyes "happy". Thanks goodness a fairy stomped me at just the right moment and I remembered some manners! Less said soonest mended, and I didn't respond. But you know what? That person was right. No happy eyes from this fairy-head!! LOL I have been sulking...

Those of you familiar with my work may remember "Memory Annes" that I've done over the last few years...these were some of the first dollies that were "received" on eBay. At all. LOL! And I might do some more...they began after my Grandfather's Alzheimer's diagnosis...Loss of any memory~~ short-term, long-term, bad, good~~ is a tragic thing.

We repeat mistakes, and maybe don't live over the beautiful moments as much as possible...

So there may be a new doll-type 'round the corner. Maybe.

They won't sell or anything. :) But that may not be the point, believe it or not!!
I did make a memory faerie a while back...

My what ramblings!!

Of course I had to back my fairy-headed peep!! :) And I posted some links, etc. about the disease...while I was "surfing" I ran across this wicked cool site that basically stated, in many dry, funny, words...
LOLOLOL....and the gal who authored the site was "gone". No posts, her email didn't "work". And I was~~ am~~ so worried about her. I hope she's okay. I hope her hands aren't too numb or crippled to type...I hope she can still do the things she loves the very most, or if she can't, that she's managed to fall in love with other things... I hope someone loves her.
I am blessed with the most incredible support system. I am rich in friends and family; I have priceless treasure in my husband and our two girls. I am wealthy. I have fairies!!! The things MS has taken from me are enough to be counted, believe me. But today I'm choosing to believe that what's been taken has simply lightened my load. Simplified the journey. And it's okay, because of my family and friends who have jelly. And I will always be good looking...

Until next time,



dolls of yore said...

Dearest Nutmeg,
You are sweet & funny and you can hide your own Easter eggs. What more can someone ask for in a friend? You can borrow my jelly any time.
T (which stands for Troll head)

Dixie Redmond said...

Meg - thanks for writing this. :-) I like that you said that some of the things MS has taken from you have perhaps lightened your load. What a beautiful way to think! It's a discipline for me to think that about having a child with autism, but I do believe people with extra challenges see extra beauty, too. Hugs to you, Faerie Queen.


MaryT said...

Meg, I just found your painting on Ebay, and followed it to your about Me page to here. I like the faeries that dance on your brain! I think I'm going to try to chase away the trolls that stomp on my brain, and invite faeries too!!

Keep on beautifying the earth!!!


Anonymous said...

Just saw this Dear Friend and it brought tears to my eyes as I thank you with all my heart for your support you gave from the Troll whose ignorance stomped on my brain hard & has left a scar,but then I have ALWAYS believed in Fairies & True friends,so therefore this too I will survive!!!!!!
Hugs To Nutmeg From Sherry's Heart

ragamuffin gal said...

I just found your blog and I have loved loved loved reading your musings and looking at your fairies. When are you going to put more up on ebay or do you sell them any place else. Please keep creating as you are touching hearts. Blessings to you, Katie

Mystele said...

Wow...God has used you in my life today to think about the load(s) I carry, of my own accord even. What a wonderful perspective you have. You are a jewel.